Choosing life
by Karasu.no.Kitsune
Summary: When he was younger, Naruto had thought that when Sasuke came home, everything would go back to normal. Saving him from the 'darkness', however, meant so much more. NaruSasu Oneshot.


_Okay, so hopefully this opens writing season for me…..This is pretty much hot off the press, and a warm up to get me back into the swing of writing. I hope you enjoy. C:_

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Always did, always will. _

_Continue!_

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He'd hoped….Sooner or later, the night-terrors would stop. It would be a lie to say that it was fine during the day. It really wasn't. But in broad daylight it was easier. The darkness brought uncertainty to them both. Made it harder to see each other, and their bond.

Since he'd come home, Sasuke had been his to care for. He'd lost yet another chance to become Chuunin, as he was to watch over Sasuke constantly, as the boy lived with him, but he didn't mind. As long as he could live through this tremor in perfection for a little while, he thought he'd reach his happy life with Sasuke eventually.

But Sasuke was losing his own battle; that much was clear.

They shared a double bed, as Naruto's home only had one bedroom, and he couldn't afford to move on only his Genin fees, like most of the other ninja orphans had. It wasn't like Sasuke to not comment on that, he thought at first. Later, he wondered if it was because really, the boy was sick of being alone in the darkness.

Every night, he would wake to the sound of Sasuke's fitful sleep. Screaming, grunting, crying. And lots of kicking. He could do nothing but bring him into his arms, his heart settling finally as the blunette would eventually still in his arms, though his face still etched in torment long enough for shards of his own heart to bleed for Sasuke's suffering one. When the Uchiha realised this was happening, the dreams simultaneously stopped. Or at least, he'd become better at concealing them. The new routine was somehow even more unsettling. Every night, he's wake to find the boy gone. He'd search the dark for him, his own insecurities plaguing him. He would call, and receive no answer.

Curled up in the darkest place in the room he chose, he would always find Sasuke. Trying to disappear from the world. Too lost in his own cyclone of grief to call for help. There were random days when it would be fine…..And yet…He still wore that haunted look. In the daytime, the two weren't often alone. Sasuke spoke quietly at his side. Sakura and Kakashi would visit. Anyone else from the original Konoha 12 came and went too. He'd often sickened himself by wondering if he should just put Sasuke out of his misery and end it all, and it was at those times that his kunai holster would feel heaviest and most deadly. Sometimes, if he wasn't wearing it, he's grab his thigh, digging his nails in angrily to punish himself. Because he remembered what they'd been through. And these tiny acts in the daytime made him realise that Sasuke was fighting, still. He wasn't sure who for, but it didn't matter. He'd hold his hand all the damn way. Like always. Uzumaki Naruto didn't give up on his friends….He wasn't going to give up on the most precious person he's ever had. It wasn't that he _wouldn't_, either. He _couldn't_. He was so far integrated into his soul that there just was no way to leave him behind. He loved him with everything he had. At all the costs it had, too.

He rolled over into a casual stretch, foggy, sleep-deprived mind dreading the moment when he'd touch the empty sheets, just like always. Mind sobered, he crawled from the bed, testing the chakra around his house in a usually meaningless attempt to locate him. He knew he didn't want to be found. Tonight, however, there was a faltering spasm….He sensed the energy easily. As his ears caught up to the rest of his senses in play, he heard the quiet spray of his shower from down the hallway. Alarmed, he wandered out of his room, stumbling down the hallway, no longer relying in the chakra he could sense to feel the anguish. He knew it was there. It never left his side, afterall. Besides in the night.

Although the door was ajar, he knocked gently. "Sasuke?" He stammered, alarmed to find his voice hoarse with exhaustion and worry. Usually these late night encounters were silent. When he heard no reply, he pushed the door out of the way gently, stepping over the threshold.

The curtain was only closed slightly, but the sound of the shower hit him much louder than it had from his bedroom. The bathroom air was cool- almost crisp. Although that could have been down to him being bundled up underneath his heavy duvet only moments ago. He realised a heartbeat later that the water coming from the shower must have been cold. He shivered, wondering, but _praying_ that it wasn't a bad omen. He could make out a figure on the other side of the shower. They crouched in the bath, shivering as they sat directly underneath the shower head. He tugged the curtain away roughly, blinking as he lowered his eyes sadly.

Trembling harshly as he sat under the glacial, unforgiving spray of water, Sasuke sat, looking deathly pale. His usually aerodynamic hair was matted against his forehead and neck, leaving it looking longer and tamed. He stared vacuously at the tiles opposite him, repeating the absent action of washing his hands and arms. His face would twitch momentarily, like he was fighting a sob, before it would return to its usual deadpan.

With a sigh, Naruto reached for the shower head, fingers freezing above the dial before he turned the temperature too hot for a brief moment, during which he wandered off to find a towel. If the boy had noticed the sudden change in temperature, he didn't comment. He continued shuddering, although he simply stared at his quivering hands, eyes straining though the bangs plastered to his brows. Naruto turned the shower off, crouching beside the boy as he placed a hand on his shoulder. Sasuke flinched, and both released a breath they hadn't realised had been held, as the brunette gently turned his head to face the blonde shinobi. He blinked owlishly, several drops of water nestled in his long lashes. Though he acknowledged Naruto, his eyes still remained dull, as though he was fighting to stay in reality as opposed to the demons he gave himself to when he was alone.

"Sasuke," Naruto murmured, hoping to bring some more clarity to his eyes. Sasuke wouldn't usually speak to him. His body were the only words he used.

Sasuke shivered again, his face scrunching into that of agony once more, while he looked at Naruto. "There's blood." He spoke quietly, although his breath hitched loudly as he shook. Naruto placed the towel over his head with a helpless look of shame, beginning to dry at the soaking bangs, as well as his face. How dare he let things come to this? Maybe...if he'd tried harder…

"Blood." Sasuke tried again, claws digging into the wrist drying his hair in an attempt to make him understand the importance of what he was saying. The action was welcomed by the blonde; the action was showing him that there was life in the delicate body.

"Where?" he whispered.

"It's everywhere. Everywhere. Everyone. Everyone is a murderer. It's all over me too. And I wanted to get it off but-"He broke off into a frenzied speech, eyes becoming more alarmed by the moment. Naruto grimaced as the tell-tale scarlet and three-point tomoes of the sharingan appeared in his irises.

And that's when he'd decided this was enough. He'd meant every word he said to the others as he waited for Sasuke's return. He wasn't going to be Hokage until Sasuke was at his side. He wasn't going to let him fester in that loneliness and madness he knew too well, for as long as he lived. He didn't mind fighting through the dark if it would bring him home. This shell he talked to was hardly Sasuke. It was one thing to have him physically home, but he wanted his mind, too. That beautiful one from his memory was gone for the time being. The one that called him an idiot, and pulled him from his own darkness at the same time. But it was time to return the favour.

"Sasuke." He said again, bringing said boy's head to rest in the crook of his neck. "Sasuke." He repeated himself several times, calling the boy, as though he was trying to wake the senses long dormant from the former shinobi. He didn't look to see if it had worked, but the shivering had finally ceased. "You idiot…" He mumbled into the tufts of hair peeking out of the towel. "You're wearing your clothes, too….I'm no medical ninja, but haven't you ever heard of 'hypothermia'? or 'pneumonia?' Sakura always harps on about those."

He continued speaking, pulling the boy from the tub, one hand supporting his back and another hooked underneath his knees. He wasn't as light as a feather by any means, he thought with a grunt…But he still felt more frail them memory served him. "And you need to open your eyes a little more, okay? We're not going to go to bed yet, you're clean, you see?" He stumbled through the bedroom, placing Sasuke down on the bed gently as he lifted one of his arms to show him. Sasuke stared, brows furrowed as he ogled the limb. "I promise you…There is no blood. You are safe here. I'm going to get you some clean clothes, okay?" He picked himself up with difficulty, unwilling to leave the Uchiha's side for even a moment at such a critical time. His gut told him to keep speaking as he rummaged through his closet, though, and so he listened.

"You know, I don't know what you were thinking at all." He tried cheerily, finding a pair of un-used ninja pants, and a large orange T-shirt. He knew it would probably drown Sasuke, as he favoured baggy clothes, but he could do no better in his frenzied state. He knelt in front of Sasuke again, willing his voice not to waver. "Lift your arms?" Sasuke complied, and he pealed back the wet pieces of clothing from his cold, moist skin piece by piece. It was pasty, from lack of sunlight, unlike how it used to look radiant, simply because _he _was. These movements carried on like clockwork, and a small part of Naruto's mind that was quickly expanding wondered if this was a new routine they would break into. He shook his head roughly. He'd decided already that tonight, he was going to put a stop to Sasuke leaving his side. He never wanted to feel sick at the lack of presence ever again. Losing him was the reason he called these episodes his own night terrors. The fears that lay dormant in the day consumed him like bad childhood tales, made to scare children. And he was a child, unable to save his friend again. All the pitying eyes, and disappointed stares that had been with him since he could remember cutting him a thousand times worse, now that he knew what it was like not to live with them. He even went as far as to blow dry his hair, honestly worried for his health. When he was done, he worried that the word flow would stop. For a moment, it did. Sasuke's actions had become somewhat dull again, and his voice fading with it.

"Look at me Sasuke. Please." He grabbed his wrists, an action that seemed to gain his attention a lot. He showed the hands to him once again, and just like before, he stared at them dubiously. "Look? See that they're clean. I won't let any blood touch you now. That part is over. No one will make you become a ninja again until you're ready, either."

"You.." He mumbled inaudibly…Expression somewhat mystified.

"W-what?" Naruto asked, as Sasuke now examined his arms. A pale hand came to his face, the tips of his fingers tracing over his whisker scars.

"There's no blood on you." He sounded relieved, and now Naruto was the one who was confused.

"That's good, right?"

Sasuke squeezed Naruto's wrist. "There never was. You're…..always pure. And every time I touch you, I leave _stains. _Dirty, _murderous_ marks on your skin, that-"

"Shh." The blond crawled onto the bed, pulling the other with him. He'd pressed him tightly to his chest, lacing his legs through his before he could protest at the tangled mess they became. He tucked his head under his chin, dark hair that had returned to its fluffy lustre tickling his face. He couldn't resist placing a kiss to his scalp, one of his hands coming to tangle in and stroke his mane.

"Sasuke…I know what this is about. You're still blaming yourself for everything. I know. But I promise you, that no one is blaming you for this. If I could go back and save your family I would. I've met your brother. He fucking loved you like you were the sunshine. I know how he feels. Don't think about being left behind or anything like that. Don't be lonely. I'm…I'm here. Don't care about any of that stuff you were saying about making me dirty. I've lived, too. Don't wander away from me and cry on your own anymore. Cry if you want to. Don't hide it from me though." _Please please._ He thought in his head.

He felt a pushing against his chest, and startled, he loosened his hold on Sasuke, alarmed as he was met with a glare. "You don't know what you're saying at all. You should have just killed me. What am I to you as I am?"

"Sasuke, I'll be whatever you want me to be. But I'll always be your friend. You can't change that."

"Shut up, you bastard! Stop being so good to a murderer! Stop treating me like-" Frustrated, Sasuke's hands gripped his hair, tugging angrily and mercilessly at his locks. "Go away already! Go away!"

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled, prying his arms away from his face. "You're doing this! No one is here! Listen to me! Just trust me!" He lowered their arms, as well as his head. His cerulean eyes were lost under his bangs, and Sasuke didn't like that one bit. "I love you so much…"

Sasuke said nothing; sure he couldn't trust anything he heard anymore. Naruto has confirmed it himself; nothing was real right now. And why would it be true? Was this his mind's last, sick attempt at ruining everything for him? Did his past not do a good enough job of that already? He wasn't lying about seeing nothing but blood. It coated every wall, every surface, and splattered itself generously across the faces of many people he knew, and some he didn't even recognize. _Even the unknowing children_ an old voice in his head hissed. He wanted to shove a knife in his temple to shut it up when he heard it. He couldn't kill a thing. Everything he didn't want to stay with him did. He had it all wrong.

He wanted Naruto to stay with him. Naruto was his last breath of oxygen.

"I'm tired…" He murmured. "Really tired."

"Me too." Naruto lay back roughly, his fall cradled by a large pillow. For a long while, the two were still. Sasuke eyed the darkness that beckoned him from down the hallway. He could almost hear the shower nozzle hissing to life and washing the sins he could hear and see right from his skin. He felt the gentle, yet questioning touch of life itself, trailing a finger up his tailbone, also. He'd clung to life, and clung to _him_, as long as he could remember. He sighed, realising that this endless night would be no different. And he crawled towards the waiting body, the pleasant warmth seeping through his body as he was welcomed with open arms, the covers being pulled up to devour them safely into a tranquil sleep. Tonight, and forever, he realised, he would choose life. If this is what it entailed.

When Naruto woke to the incessant rays of sun in the morning, he wasn't alone.

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_So…how do we like it? Let me know . ^^_


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